Hola my lovely friends,
It feels like an eternity since I last sat down to write on this blog. It feels that way, in fact, because it has been an eternity and a half.
My last blog post dates back to September. Exactly how that happened, remains a mystery to me. So much has gone on in-between...
What can I say? I guess life got in the way...
Why I Haven't Been Blogging
Right, time to face the music and explain to you (and myself) why I've not been writing at all these last few months.
On the one hand, last May, I went from being somebody's happy girlfriend to somebody's even happier fiancee. I'm well aware other people get married and still fully function but for some reason, I've not managed to stretch out that far.
The wedding is set to be in my home country (Spain) and so, as we both currently live in the UK, the managing and planning of the feast from so many miles away has been a bit of a challenge. A lot of trips back and forth, a lot of hours spent on the internet, a lot of moving parts.
As a byproduct of that, our living arrangements have dramatically changed. We have decided to attempt to a) pay for a whole wedding b) save for a house deposit all in the space of a year or two and so, have left our home in London to try and get together the cash. Which means that we've spent the last year living out of bags, sleeping in spare rooms and adapting to having no set routine at all.
For me, a tough creativity crusher I've not been able to overcome.
On a more positive note, I have been concentrating on my candles a lot more this year. I have finally finalised my five final products, worked on my branding and set up my Etsy shop. And happily, have been able to sell a steady flow of produce. More to come on this very soon!
As with most starting out bloggers, I also have a full-time job. One that is time and creativity consuming. I spend most of my days in front of a computer so when the time comes to sit and write a blog, I run for the hills - desperate for fresh air and faraway horizons.
And lastly, and probably more a true cause than a mere excuse, I've become quite disillusioned with it all.
This is actually very hard for me to put down in words so please interpret as you see fit...
In recent years, there has been an explosion of content. Everyone and their mothers are busy filling the web with their take on anything from fishing to contouring. And one day, I just stopped and wondered:
'What authority do any of us really have?'
We're surrounded by fake news, It Girls sponsoring 'skinny teas', big corporations talking to us like they're our buddies... how can we, as the audience, establish what is useful information and what is blatant propaganda?
So, I took a long hard look at my blog - one that I started simply because I love to write - and I realised, it was morphing into another hard-sell channel, where you come to be told how wonderful your life could be if only you keep buying all these things and achieving all these personal life goals. And on top of that, I wasn't even getting any money from it!
What's even worse, is that this wave of content is generating something very scary. A new and sole patron of success and beauty. Scroll through Instagram and you'll quickly see the similarities. The tiny noses, the long eyelashes. The skinny arms grabbing hold of vegan burgers. The selfies at the gym, the party shots in exotic destinations...
All the geniality, all the creativity, all the power of the platform, all at work to place the same caricatures on pedestals and make the average Joe and plain Jane feel unaccomplished.
I no longer feel comfortable telling you what to do. All I want is to find ways to make myself happy, healthy, more cultured, more awake. And yes, I want to share that with you. But not in a position of power, as a beacon of wholesome truth. I just want to be one side of the conversation.
And until I find that balance, I won't commit to regularly publish.
Today, more than ever, mucho love.